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The Journey of Prodigal Journey: my seven-year itch to get into print.
This journey to authorship by Linda P. Adams is a wonderful incentive
for writers who are also mothers, and who are concerned with making sure
their children come first. When I first read Linda's essay on the AML-List,
I was reminded vividly of my
own pathway to publishing. I hope that both stories will encourage you.
Below Linda's original essay are several questions and comments made on the
list, as well as her replies.
Linda P. Adams journey.
Comments by Darlene Young.
Comments by D. Michael Martindale
and Linda P. Adams.
By Linda P. Adams
When people ask how long it took me to write the 500-plus pages of Prodigal
Journey, I answer, "I'm not sure." It's my second-most frequently
asked question. I give this vague answer because the number one question
people ask is a desperate, "When's Volume 2 coming out?" (The answer: Summer
2001.) I don't want to scare them by saying, "Oh, Volume One took about
seven years."
The seven year figure is accurate and inaccurate at once. Yes, from the time
I wrote the first chapter in 1993 to the time I held my book in my hands
last summer was seven years. The actual writing, however, didn't take up
nearly all that time. I'm honestly not sure how long the writing and editing
process was. It was put together piecemeal, one tiny bit at a time, writing
faster near the end of the process than in the beginning.
I stated in the preface to Prodigal Journey that there was a certain
chapter that started this whole snowball rolling. It's Chapter 37, "The
Stranger," in which my protagonist, Alyssa, is healed of an injury by a man
she later discovers is Jesus Christ. I saw the scene as a picture: Alyssa's
face looking up, grimy and drawn, as he calls her by name and lifts her up.
I wrote it down. After that, I had to find out who Alyssa was, her history,
where she was going. Vague, shadowy images formed in my mind about her family
and personal relationships. It seemed to me, even that early on, that this
scene was a tiny piece of a giant whole; an epic story revolving somehow
around the building of the New Jerusalem in Independence.
It wasn't written in order at all. First I finished the final chapters of
the book, detailing where Alyssa went after her healing, and "met" Peter
and his family. More ideas regarding the plot kept coming, and I wrote them
down as I had time.
At this point in my life, "writing time" was infrequent. Sarah, my third
child, was an infant. I'd just had three babies in three years, two still
in diapers. Largely because of the actual demands of all the babies, and
partly due to a hope of being a "normal" Molly-Mormon style Mommy, I had
put all writing completely on hold until I wrote this one fateful chapter.
Let me back up a bit. I've always wanted to write. I started writing creative
stories in grade school, started writing poetry in high school (horrific
verse loaded with teen angst), and took every creative writing class I could
manage during my four years at BYU.
When the babies started coming (after college), I stopped writing completely.
I assumed I couldn't be a Good Mormon Mom and a writer at the same time.
This is an issue I still struggle with, though I'm learning how to find balance
between the two. I also discovered—with that one chapter—that I
couldn't just "stop" writing. It's in my blood; the drive isn't going away,
whatever the result. Being published helps. Taking time for writing feels
less subversive than it used to. I still feel odd; I don't spend weekends
scrap booking, I'm a terrible housekeeper, and I don't quite fit in any standard
LDS cultural mold. Thankfully, I don't mind feeling odd, have grown comfortable
with my identity, and never cared for crafts in the first place. But I do
talk to my children, all the time, and make sure I'm there for all their
crossroads, and do my best at this parenting business.
It worked out that the bulk of the manuscript was finished about the same
time we got our first real home computer. (Before that, I used spiral notebooks
and an ancient 8086 [XT] with a 5" floppy.) We connected to the Internet,
and I discovered AML-List. I got up the courage to throw some of what I felt
was my better work on a free Geocities site (which I've since moved to
Earthlink), including the preface chapters of my book.
I still questioned whether to continue spending time on the novel. I questioned
my ability to write. Often I thought I should just give up. I spent a good
deal of time on my knees and in the temple asking whether this was something
I ought to be spending time doing. My answers were clear and refreshing:
keep going. I don't make this statement to assert I have any extra-special
Talent from God. I don't know that. I'm only saying this answer brought
me peace, to know He encouraged me to write, that I was on the right path
for my life.
I also found if I was going to write about the Last Days and the establishment
of the New Jerusalem, I had to do a LOT of research. I turned primarily to
scripture, which I've searched thoroughly. I also read many books on latter-day
prophecy (some spurious, some not), and researched general Mormon folklore
on latter-day subjects. I even learned a new word: eschatology, the
study of the last days before the end of the world as prophesied in scripture.
I've also had to learn the myriad of differences between our own, fluid Mormon
eschatology, and the more strict interpretation of prophesied events demanded
by other Christian faiths. It's been an education.
To continue with my publishing history, not long after establishing my web
presence, I was contacted by Richard Maher Associates (formerly Richard Maher
NE LDS Publishing & Distributing). They were interested in the book.
Eric Knight had read the chapters on my website after hearing about it from
a post I made on AML-List. It's clear to me that in many direct ways, I have
AML-List to thank that this novel is in print today. I also workshopped the
first few chapters through an AML-List writer's group offered at that time.
With the help of my group, especially critique from List member Scott Parkin,
I was able to rewrite the first segments with stronger, more realistic characters
and correct some beginner's mistakes.
I did sign with Richard Maher, finishing the last missing segments of the
manuscript, and going through my first experience of being edited. While
working with them eventually didn't work out, it was a helpful experience
overall. In January of 1999, they wrote to inform me they would be unable
to publish the book for at least two more years due to financial constraints.
As this delay was not allowed for in the contract, and since I'd gained enough
confidence in my work by this point to feel I could market it elsewhere,
I exercised my right to cancel the contract.
Although disappointing, by then I was ready to shop the manuscript around.
I'd never done this before. It was rejected by over a dozen houses, small
and large, including the major LDS Publishers, except for Cornerstone. They
showed an interest right away. Still, I deferred accepting their offer until
I'd heard from everyone else. They were new, and small, and I'd just been
jilted by another small LDS press. I didn't want that to happen again I explained
to Richard Hopkins I was once bitten, twice shy, and he was patient waiting
for my answer; he was also patient in explaining he could deliver what he
promised.
I signed my contract with them by December of 1999. The editing process went
well. I felt Richard was able to spot problem areas we had previously overlooked
at Richard Maher, and he has a scrupulous eye for fine detail. Finally, after
seemingly endless phone calls and e-mails over details—cover design,
choosing the series title, last minute edits—in July of 2000 I received
the Box: a large package containing author's copies of my 517-page novel.
It was a day I thought might never come, the whole publishing process an
act of faith for me. This was my witness. I held my own book in my hands.
It felt terrific.
The scary thing now was, it was Volume One. I have to keep producing.
I had to outline the next two volumes before we printed the first, to make
sure any elements I plan to develop are properly referenced in the first
book. I know the story isn't fully told yet, and am as anxious to finish
the rest as my readers seem to be to read it.
I have days where I feel I've taken on too much, yes. I've had two more children
since that first chapter was written, plus two miscarriages. I was pregnant
with this fifth child when I opened that box of author's copies; Rebekah
was born in September. Large chunks of manuscript have been typed in one-handed
while a baby (either Jacob, my fourth, or now Rebekah) nurses in my lap.
And behind the scenes, supporting me all the way, has been my loving husband,
Steve. He's always been there, waiting to read my rough draft as it spools
out of my head, discussing ideas with me, and telling me I'm terrific and
that I shouldn't give up. I wrote in the acknowledgements of _Prodigal Journey_
that without him I might stuffed the whole thing through a paper shredder.
It's true.
In some ways I wonder if I've opened Pandora's box. If maybe I'd be better
off if I _had_ chosen the paper-shredder route instead. I wonder if anyone
who reads it will notice the attention to detail I strive for, my deeper
themes, or how the structure correlates to Jesus' parable of the prodigal
son. (This last thing was actually unintentional, something I didn't notice
myself until I was nearly finished and searching for the perfect title. I
was surprised it was there.) All I usually hear is, "When's the next book
coming?" Which is nice, too, of course.
I'm working on it. Right after I finish this article.
Linda Adams
adamszoo@sprintmail.com
Comments by Darlene Young:
I especially enjoyed Linda's description of the process of coming to accept
the place of writing in her life. I too as a Mormon mother have spent hours
on my knees wondering if it is OK to spend the time writing that I want to.
(If I spent all the time writing that I do praying, think what I'd have written!
Not to presume to compare the importance of those two activities in my life
. . . ) Anyway, it's so encouraging to read stories of how others have pulled
it all off. Thanks.
Comments by D. Michael
Martindale with clips from Linda's original essay AND new comments posted
over the AML-List:
Linda Adams:
I assumed I couldn't be a Good Mormon Mom and a writer at the same time.
This is an issue I still struggle with, though I'm learning how to find balance
between the two.
D. Michael Martindale:
I hope you mean you still struggle with finding the balance, and not that
you still struggle with whether you should write or not. My elders quorum
president, who has been unemployed for a few months, regaled us with an epiphany
after running the entire household for a month:
Linda:
Actually, I know I can't quit writing, because I tried. Didn't work. But
I do still struggle with the role itself, yes. When I'm writing intensively
(like I am right now) my schedule can be crazy. I can get over-absorbed in
my work. I have to work at not doing that to excess. I have plenty of days
when I think, "What did I think I was doing?" I'm grateful for the
many Priesthood blessings I've had which encourage me forward. I've never
once been told by the Spirit not to write. In fact it's always the
opposite.
Without that knowledge, I doubt I could keep working to publish. Plus
it's always a struggle for any working Mormon mother—whether
it's writing (at home) or a (pardon the expression) Real Job or Career vs.
Mothering. It goes back to Pres. Benson's directive of "Mom, come home."
If I choose this path, am I still following the prophet? Am I still
a good enough parent for my children? Can I actually succeed at both
things? Really? Because if I have to choose only one, family wins out. Yet
OTOH, a friend offered me some of the best parenting advice I've ever heard,
years ago: You can be a full-time stay-home mom and still not "be
there" for your children when they need you. True.
D. Michael:
"Housework really sucks," he said. "I mean it really sucks! I remember a
bishop telling me once that housework is not a career, and shouldn't have
to be for women. Housework is just stuff that needs to get done, and everyone
should be pitching in to do it. The woman has as much right to develop herself
as a person and not be tied down to all that housework as the man." (Horribly
paraphrased, of course.)
He said he understood now what his bishop was talking about. No one should
have to do that stuff full time.
Does that not say it all?
Linda:
AMEN, brother. Anecdote those of you with 4+ children will understand: When
my mother-in-law came to help with this baby, she caught up the laundry.
As she came up the basement stairs with baskets in hand, she said, "Just
the LAUNDRY is a full-time job here!" I said, "I know." That's why we have
a basket for each kid, and toss the clean clothes in the right basket. (We're
working on teaching them to fold. Not a ton of progress yet.) Iron? What's
an iron? At least we can find our underwear . . .
With under 4 kids, it's still physically possible to get laundry "done."
After 4, especially 5, forget it. (My plan is by the time each kid is 14,
they're doing their own!) And to my husband's credit even though he's in
night school for an MBA two nights a week—I turned over all the laundry
to him until this book's done, and nothing is molding and we don't have "pink"
socks that should be white. Housework should be shared by everyone
who lives in the house. I'm glad I have a husband who comprehends this. Like
I said in my article, the first book couldn't have been written without him,
and this is a big part of the reason why.
Linda:
I'm a terrible housekeeper,
D. Michael:
You know how many non-writers are also terrible housekeepers?
Linda:
Yeah, but my terrible housekeeping is a conscious decision. :-) I actually
know how and choose not to, which makes it seem so much worse . . .
Linda:
But I do talk to my children, all the time, and make sure I'm there for all
their crossroads, and do my best at this parenting business.
D. Michael:
That's the only important part anyway. The rest is just "stuff."
Linda:
True, and I put that in the article to stake my claim I'm doing good enough.
Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but that's unattainable anyway.
Linda:
In some ways I wonder if I've opened Pandora's box.
D. Michael:
You mean like when Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt? When Jesus
came and preached the Gospel? When Abinadi called King Noah to repentance?
When Joseph Smith gave the world a new book of scripture? Or how about when
John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, etc.,
declared independence from Great Britain? When Mohandas Gandhi walked to
the sea and made salt in defiance of the law? When Martin Luther King told
the nation about a dream he had? When Ronald Reagan told Gorbachev to "tear
down this wall"?
The only way to avoid opening Pandora's boxes is to accomplish nothing.
Linda:
Touché. Thanks. It's still hard trying to do what I hope to
do—establish myself as an author—when I have these five little
kids 10 and under. I question my own timing. How it's going to affect my
children long-term (whether I succeed at writing or not).
Right now my kids are still so little, they don't know it's not exactly ordinary
to have a mom who writes books. I'll either be "cool" when they hit junior
high or embarrassingly strange... most likely the second, but I've got more
practice being weird than being cool, anyway. . .
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