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Computer Puns
"There's something wrong with my disk!" said the
man on the phone. He had called the software
company for help and Dave, the support worker,
obligingly talked him through the proper steps,
but without success.
"Send me a copy of the disk so that I can see
for myself what's wrong," Dave advised the
distressed man. Dave hung up the phone and was
completely astonished a few minutes later to see
a picture of the problem disk coming through his
fax machine!
*****
One afternoon a man called the software company
my husband works for and talked to Mike, one of
the support technicians.
"Nothing works on my computer at all, Mike," the
man said. "I've tried everything."
Mike worked with the man for long minutes,
racking his brain for problems that might
possibly affect the computer in this strange
manner. Finally, when he had exhausted all other
ideas, he said, "Well, why don't you check to
see if the computer is plugged into the outlet?"
"OK, wait a minute," said the man. "I need to
move the candle first to get behind the desk.
The power went off about an hour ago."
*****
A man called the software support line to get
help installing a new program. He followed the
instructions perfectly up until the end.
"Now you're done. Just press any key to finish,"
he was instructed.
There was a long silence on the phone and then
the man exclaimed, "I can't find the any key on
my keyboard!"
*****
(You can tell this one's old.)
"That disk you sent me doesn't work," the man on
the phone complained. The software company had
sent him a 5¼ inch floppy with an update of
some programs he had purchased.
"What happened when you put the disk in?" the
support person asked.
"It didn't do anything," the man said. "But I
did have a time getting it to fit. My drive is a
lot smaller than the disk so I had to cut it
down."
*****
When he was a new computer programmer, my
husband occasionally filled in on the customer
support line. One day when he had to answer the
phones, a woman called to ask for help in using
her new software.
"Push the keys that I tell you," he said to the
woman. "C, d, space, x, a, c, t—"
"Wait!" the woman exclaimed, trying to hold down
all of the keys at once. "I'm running out of
fingers!"
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